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RAW IS WAR
April 24, 2000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross
Report by Nick Ponton
Jim Ross announces X-Pac is not with us tonight due to a loss in his family. My condolences go out to the family of Sean Waltman
Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi Phatu
Kurt comes out and tells us why he has set aside his quest for championship gold to go after the Big Show. The answer is simple. The Big Show is a big ass. Kurt does not like or appreciate big asses. Speaking of big asses, his opponent is Rikishi. Kurt says if Rikishi's parents had practiced abstinance, we would not have to look at that repulsive rectum today.
Rikishi barely gets in the ring before being attacked, but quickly regains control fter a few rights. Angle goes for a suplex, but couldn't do it. Rikishi instead hits a suplex. Angle goes for a sunset flip and just gets out of the way before Rikishi sits down. Angle gets up and hits a belly-to-belly on Rikishi. Rikishi retreats to the corner and after taking a couple of clotheslines, nails Rikishi with his own. Angle gets thrown in the corner. Rikishi sets up to back dat ass up, but Angle shoves the ref in the way. The ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Rikishi Phatu via DQ
After the bell, Big Show comes down and attacks Angle. Angle gets thrown in the corner and gets Rikishi's ass in his face. After Angle leaves, Show and Rikishi get in the ring and stare each other down. Show pulls out the yellow sunglasses. He puts them on Rikishi and gives Rikishi the high fives and leaves the ring. The lights go out and Rikishi starts to dance.
Outside the arena, the DX Express pulls up and Shane, HHH, and Stephanie step out and make their way towards the arena
Fram Trap of the Week...Last week on Raw..Linda slapping Stephanie and HHH and Shane getting in a little tussle.
Trish Stratus is backstage wearing practically nothing describing what kind of tables drive her crazy. They are all penis jokes. Long ones, round ones, short ones, skinny ones, but they all have to be hard.
Game rings throughout the arena and HHH, Stephanie, and Shane make their way to the ring for the long pointless interview that happens at RAW. Shane says first things first. Vinne Mac will be here momentarily, but in the mean time, Shane says he can be a bit of a hothead sometimes. Shane apologizes to HHH for his actions from last Monday night. Shane says he now knows HHH loves the McMahon family as much he does and he would never pedigree his mother in the middle of the ring. Shane says HHH is the best brother-in-law a guy could have and Shane and HHH hug.
Steph grabs the mic and says those guys just warm her heart. Steph she'd like to apologize too. She apologizes to all of us if in anyway she has hurt our feelings with her actions. She says she knows what it's like to have her feelings hurt. We only see one side of Steph. Ask HHH or Shane. She's a caring soul and very sensitive. We the crowd chants SLUT, she almost cries. She says it's unfair to pass judgement without anyone actually knowing her. Then Steph hugs HHH, then Shane.
HHH grabs the mic and says everyone here owes Steph an apology because they don't know anything about her. The SLUT chant starts up now and quickly turns into ASSHOLE. HHH says he would also like to apologize to all of us. It's been brought to his attention as of late that many of the fans feel he has been unfair in some of the business decisions he's made. HHH asks if it was unfair for Chris Jericho's big win to be stricken from the record books? Was it fair that HHH humiliated and fired Earl Hebner on national television? Was it unfair to make the Rock compete in a lumberjack match so close to Backlash? HHH says he don't know and he'd not an unfair guy. HHH says that's why tonight..........
Break The Walls Down hits and out comes "our hero" Chris Jericho. Welcome to Raw is Jericho. Jericho says the only thing HHH needs to apologize for is boring these Jerichoholics half to death. Week after week HHH does these whiny, tedious interviews and no one cares. (It's true. It's True) Jericho is pleading for HHH to shut the hell up. Jericho says if "Trip" really wants to be fair, he should give Y2J a rematch TONIGHT!
"Trip" says he'll have to think about that. HHH asks if Jericho thinks he would come out here and reward him for coming out here week after week and saying deragatory comments towards Steph? HHH says Steph is very delicate. She is like a little flower. Y2J asks "flower"? He says she had to have lost her flower years ago. He then asks how do you think she became a dirty, skanky, bottom feeding, trash bag ho in the first place. Shane loses it and says he's tired of Jericho and the Rock making fun of his sister. Tonight, Shane says it will be the Rock and Jericho vs. Shane and HHH. HHH says as for the title shot request, Jericho is denied. Steph dangles the heavyweight belt over the ropes and Jericho grabs it tries to walk away. HHH jumps out of the ring and chases him, but Jericho turns around and nails him with the belt.
Eddie Guerrero is shown backstage getting dressed for the Prom Sunday night. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and a green jacket. Chyna sees it and tells him he looks like crap. Jericho said he was the bomb at his cousins wedding and Chyna calls him a loser.
Moments ago....Jericho stealing the belt from Steph and clocking HHH with it.
During the break....Chris Jericho is assaulted by Chris Benoit. Jericho vs. Benoit IS this Sunday at Backlash, so that defeats the rumors of Jericho being added to the main event later tonight.
Intercontinetal Title Match
Road Dogg vs. Chris Benoit
I think this is a title match. Road Dogg says it is, but it was never officially announced. Road Dogg does his little thing on the mic and welcomes Raleigh to the Dogg House. Road Dogg says if your not down with Dennis Knight (could this be a hint at a new DX member?), he's got two words for ya. Once Benoit makes it to the ring, On the Edge hits and Edge and Christian join the commentating team. Benoit and Road Dogg tie up in the corner. Edge and Christian both say if it looks like RD is about to win, E/C are going to "run in" and cause him to lose. Road Dogg is tossed outside by a drop kick from Benoit and Tori comes ringside. Benoit bangs Road Dogg's head off the announce table and throws Raod Dogg back in the ring. Benoit whipped in the corner, but gets his foot up. Road doog hits the juke and jive and then the shake rattle and role after a missed suplex by Benoit. Benoit tosses Road Dogg outside again and throws him into the barricade a couple times. Benoit tries to suplex Road Dogg, but Benoit gets the best of him. Road Dogg back in the ring and Christian says this is a good time for the run in. Tori tries to stop Christian and the referee tends to them while Edge sneaks in the ring and spears Road Dogg. Benoit gets up and hits the flying headbutt for the win.
Winner and still IC Champion: Chris Benoit
Post match, Edge and Christian double team Road Dogg and continue to beat on him. Tori comes in the ring and Edge acts like he's going to kiss her. Christian hits an inverted DDT on her and they leave through the crowd.
Kurt Angle asks the aPa if he can pay them to beat up the Big Show. Bradshaw says they don't beat up people for money, they protect people for money. Angle asks if he could offer some constructive criticism. Angle says maybe if they'd stop the drinking, the smoking, and the gambling they could afford a better place of business. Farooq tells Angle to get the hell out.
Bossman and Bull are shown talking to Steph about a new nightstick. Kurt Angle walks through and Steph asks Kurt what's up. Kurt says he's having problems with the Big Show and the aPa just kicked him out. Steph makes a handicap match between Show and Bossman/Bull. Kurt says thanks and Steph gives him those puppy dog eyes I wish she was giving me.
Hardy Boyz vs. Crash and Hardcore Holly
Hardcore has promised on the Holly family name he will not attack Crash tonight for the Hardcore title. Matt and Hardcore start and Holly beats Matt to the ground. Holly hits a powerslam and gets a near fall. Matt gets whipped and recieves an elbow from Hardcore. Matt whipped into the corner and gets beat down. After another whip and an elbow to Holly's face, Matt hits a legdrop from the second rope. Hardcore puts his head down too early after a whip and gets kicked, but gets up and knocks Matt down. Crash tagged in and scoop slams Matt. Crash goes to the top and ends up with a foot in his groin. Mat makes the tag as does Crash. Jeff chops Hardcore down and throws him into the corner. Jeff jumps off Matt's back for a leg to the throat and a two count broken up by Crash. Matt throws Crash out. Matt suplexes Hardcore aand Jeff goes to the top. Crash gets a cookie sheet and knocks him down. Hardcore rolles up Jeff and gets the three count. JR ACTUALLY SAID JEFF WAS GOING FOR THE SWANTON BOMB
Winners: Crash and Hardcore Holly via small package
After the match, the Hardy's brought Crash back into the ring and tried for a double suplex which leads to.....
Hardcore Title Match
Matt Hardy vs. Crash Holly
Matt is thrown outside and Jeff gets Crash down and hits a sit down springboard moonsault. Saturn comes down and breaks up that count and gets a two of his own. Tazz comes down and breaks that one up. Jeff Hardy goes up and hits the Swanton and Matt covers him and becomes the new hardcore champion.
Winner and NEW Hardcore Champion: Matt Hardy via Jeff's Swanton
Chyna is shown backstage telling Eddie to hurry up. Eddie comes out wearing a red coat with a shiny black shirt. Chyna still doesn't like it and tells Eddie to put on the tux she bought. Chyna is still stressing over her dress.
Trish Stratus is backstage again wearing even less and tells Buh-Buh that up keep is so important. She puts wax on the table and tells him that rubbing it is important. Again, more penis jokes.
Big Show vs. Bull Buchanan/Bossman
Show goes after Bossman, but Bull attacks from behind. This is a 2-on-1 handicap match-up. Sumerslam will be in Raleigh and tickets go on sale tomorow. Back to the match, Show kicks bull in the gut and grabs Bossman by the head. He headbutts both and tries to throw Bull out. Bull hangs on to the ropes and Show grabs Bull's neck. Bossman breaks it up and Bossman gets grabbed by the neck. Show hits a flying double elbow then sets Bull and Bossman up for a double showstoppa, but out comes Kurt Angle and low blows Show. Angle hits an Olympic Slam on the 500 lber. The Acolytes come down and chase Bull and Bossman to the back.
Winner: Big Show by DQ
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